Feeling a bit better since my last entry--thanks to everyone who commented on it. Stupidly enough I spilled my guts about the weight thing to Steve as well, but he's still supportive, loving, and accepting despite how fucked up I've been revealing myself to be (he even held me when I started crying earlier this week due to body angst/show stress/fear about unemployment/PMS/lack of sleep/being a general emo bitch and said it was ok for me to let it out and get things off my chest !! And if you know me, you know that this means a lot because I HATE crying in front of anyone or showing my vulnerabilities, especially to guys because I'm afraid it'll scare them off). He even suggested working out together so we could both tone up a bit, like going ice skating or rollerblading with him or me teaching him yoga and/or taking him to some classes. Seriously, thank the gods that I have such a wonderful boyfriend. <3

I've been coming to realizations that I've been way too lazy lately, and bitching and angsting and lashing out at others too much instead of oh, I dunno, ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING ABOUT SHIT THAT WORRIES ME. It sickens me to see myself become the kind of person I absolutely detest (physically and emotionally). It's been hard for me to take a good look at myself for many reasons lately. But I'm trying to get back into step, especially in terms of work, exercise, proper medication, and thinking more positively. And, hopefully, giving myself a break when I slip up on all that.

Anyway, I have a busy but exciting week in store: open dress for "Zucco" last night, and tonight's our first official performance!!!!!!! (Need I remind you to go see it??? Nov. 7, 13-14, 20-21 @ 8pm, 22nd @ 2pm). Dad's coming tonight, Steve and Mom next Saturday, Dave's wife on the 13th, and various others who want to see it but aren't quite sure when to do so. Birthday brunches with Mom, Steve, and the grandparents tomorrow morning, and Dad, Shirley, and the kids (and also Steve; everyone's been wanting to meet him) on the 15th--and of course, my birthday next Friday!!!!! (Friday the 13th, ooooooh!) Also planning on doing some extra work on Tuesday, and going to see Ready Room (Steve/Tyler/Eric's band) Wednesday night. Then once all the hubbub with the show ends, it's Thanksgiving time, which means dinner with Mom's fam, grab bag with Steve's family, and a weekend in Mexico with Dad and the steps. Hopefully trying to find some seasonal retail work if I can swing it too.

Yeah, pointless update, just want y'all to know I'm alive and functioning :) And now to make up for this rambly shite, here's your daily dose of cute furry things!!! (no, not like that...sickos.)


(from cuteoverload.com)

Gaaaaaah! So adorable!! I wanna get a pet Chinchilla and name it Nacho ^_^  (But it would have to be once I have my own place because Tao would likely try to eat it...)

Should I get a Twitter account?

The best incentive to use birth control?

Working through two hours of toddlers coming to Panera en masse to see a guy dressed up like the dog from The Wiggles.

Now if only the suburban moms who come in with three kids under the age of 5 and sporting a bump would take such advice. Or at least clean up their little darlings' crumbs and GoGurt stains before I have to.

Other tres amusant things--according to status updates on StalkerFeed, Troy's ex's mom thinks he's gay. Bwahahahaha.

Panera pwns my soul this weekend, but I get Monday and Tuesday off. And I'm going to see Tyler's band play after work tomorrow *bouncebounce*

Update on life&stuff...

Work: Okay, first the bad news--Town Tavern has been seriously screwing me over lately. Remember that late shift competition, the one where everyone in the running gets 2 shifts and 10 free drink tickets per shift to prove their stuff? Last Wednesday, another rookie bartender and I lost one of our shifts for that. They told us to come in that day because there was no staff meeting, but it turns out that they were using the upstairs bar area for "ramp training" for people who had been there longer. Since the upstairs was occupied, they only needed 2 people to tend the downstairs bar, so they picked two more-experienced guys who were also working the shift and after less than an hour of us working, told Alyssa (the other rookie) and myself to beat it. We made a measly $5 each in tips. Worse, my boss didn't tell us when we were going to make up the shift, so Alyssa and I waited about an hour till the upstairs meeting got on break to ask him when our hours for next week would be. He has us write down our email and phone numbers and said he'd get back to us. Not surprisingly, it's been a week and I didn't hear shit from him about making up for the lost time.

Then I go down to the staff meeting last night, and I find out from the guy working there that not only is this week's meeting cancelled because some of the managers are in NYC (yeah, thanks for not telling me before I had to commute to the South Side), but they already made up the schedule for this week, and I'm not working because they have 15 people already lined up for shifts (again, thanks so much for making up the schedule without even trying to contact all the employees), so I should come back next Wednesday to find out if when I'm going to work that week. I've been relying on my tips there for pocket money while I save up for the move, so needless to say, 2 weeks without work has put a damper on my finances.

But, the good news: I have 2 full-time job offers!!!!! One at Barnes & Noble, and one at Panera. Since B&N didn't seem too enthusiastic and is taking its sweet time getting back to me, I think I'm gonna go with Panera; the people are nice, the hours are pretty flexible, it pays decent, and it's closer to home. I go in for training/paperwork this afternoon. Once I get situated with Panera, perhaps I'll quit at TT if they can't get their shit together--but even if they don't it won't matter so much because at least I'll have a steady source of income and won't need to rely on those inconstant fucks for spending money.

(Jeez, I'm sorry all my posts lately have been about work or money. It's stupid to obsess over these things; I need to just relax and enjoy what I have instead of getting overly hung up on material issues.)

Anyway, on a much better note, Kyle (scarlight's friend and my Facebook "husband") is having a 21st birthday shindig tonight and I am so looking forward to it--sushi and copious amounts of alcohol, what could be better? Alas, my camera died, but if anyone else takes pix I can post them. I've been on a unique vintagey-punky fashion kick lately, so you bet your sweet ass that wherever this weekend takes me, I'mma look snazzy as hell--especially since Tina and I went to an awesome street fair on the South Side last weekend, at which I got a lovely steampunk-inspired headband from this artist: http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5198083. Tina's birthday is today as well, so we're going out tomorrow night to celebrate, perhaps to see Rocky Horror Picture Show at the Rex Theatre or something :)

So anyway, despite work stress and so forth, I'm trying to stay focused on the positive. I've been too damn moody lately and I'm sick of this endless cycle of letting stupid shit bring me down, so I'm honestly making an effort to see all the beauty and positive things around me, and to appreciate the people who keep me going and believe in me when I don't always have faith in myself. This is the time I'm upon so I need to make the most of it.